1. Notice and give space for whatever you may be feeling this year around the holidays.
The holidays bring up a lot of different emotions for people, and everyone grieves differently. Just know that it is okay to feel whatever you are feeling. It’s OK to be sad and find yourself having a more challenging time this holiday season. It’s also okay if you do experience joy and are excited about the upcoming holidays.
2. Decide what traditions you want to keep and what you may want to do differently this year.
For some, the holidays can magnify our sense of loss and sorrow. Carrying on traditions you used to do with loved ones may help keep their memory alive and provide comfort. Finding meaningful ways to remember your loved one, such as lighting a candle in their honor, cooking a dish they used to like, or even taking turns sharing your favorite holiday memories with them, are all ways to keep our loved one’s memories alive.
For others, trying to keep loved ones' traditions alive during their absence may be too much. It could feel overwhelming and depressing. It may help to shake things up and maybe even try something new. This does not take away from your love of them but instead allows you to continue to experience the holidays in a way that may feel more manageable for you.
3. Have a back up plan.
If you already have your holidays planned and know where you will be going and who you will be spending the holidays with, a helpful proactive strategy to do for yourself is to create a backup plan for yourself. An example of this could be attending your original plans for an hour or two and then going home to decompress. It could also look like staying home altogether and letting your loved ones know you would love to connect and get together at a later time. Sometimes, even just knowing you have a backup plan can make the original plans feel more doable. The goal ultimately is to take care of yourself and let go of any expectations or pressure you may be feeling to do things a certain way.
4. Stay connected.
Staying connected with family and friends during the holidays can help minimize any feelings of loneliness that may come up. If you are currently in therapy and are able to keep your scheduled therapy sessions, this may help ensure you still have an outlet and support to explore anything that may come up for you during the holidays. If you or your therapist will be gone over the holidays, create a self-care plan until you are able to meet again.
5. Prioritize self-care with self-awareness.
Honor your need to focus on you. Find time to decompress and do things you enjoy. Whether that is going for walks, watching your favorite show, reading a good book, or making a comforting meal. Make sure you take the time to take care of yourself and recharge this holiday season. In order to be fully present for those around you, you need to first take care of yourself, just like the airplane mask, YOU before others.
6. Be kind to yourself.
All you can do is your best and your best may look different this holiday season.
Written by Kendall Fox & Cary Hamilton
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