Here’s the thing about life—it’s messy, unpredictable, and beautifully imperfect.
And when we’re in the thick of it, especially as parents and caregivers to neurodivergent kids, the world can feel overwhelming. But here’s where glimmers come in. Glimmers are those tiny, fleeting moments that remind us that life has pockets of joy and ease—even in hard times. They’re the brief sparks of light that show up in everyday moments: the feel of a warm cup of tea in your hands, the smell of rain, the sound of your child’s laughter.
For our neurodivergent kiddos, glimmers aren’t just nice to have; they’re lifelines. When the world feels too loud, too fast, or too much, these small moments of peace can help bring a sense of grounding. And here’s the truth—glimmers aren’t only for the kids. We, as parents and providers, need them just as much. In the midst of giving it all we’ve got, glimmers are tiny reminders that we also need to pause and catch our breath.
So, how can we create space for these moments in our lives this fall? How do we hold on to glimmers when life feels like one long to-do list?
Let’s explore how we can practice, notice, and invite these moments into our lives.
What Exactly is a Glimmer?
A glimmer is a small, positive experience—a flicker of comfort, safety, or joy that can settle the nervous system. It’s that first light in the morning, the crisp smell of fall, or the warmth of a hug. For our kids, these glimmers help anchor them in a world that can feel big and chaotic. For us, they remind us that even in the mess, beauty and peace exist.
Glimmers challenge us to notice those tiny moments we may forget about in our daily lives. When we learn to notice and savor them, we’re giving our brains and bodies a much-needed pause. We’re telling our nervous systems, “It’s okay. You’re safe right now. Take a breath.”
Why Glimmers Matter for Neurodivergent Kids (and Their Grown-ups)
If there’s one thing we know about neurodivergent children, it’s that they experience the world in big, powerful, sometimes overwhelming ways. When we help our kids notice and celebrate glimmers, we’re teaching them how to find pockets of calm in the storm. These moments allow them to feel safe and connected, grounding them in a sense of “I’m okay.”
And as caregivers, when we notice these glimmers for ourselves, we model resilience. We’re saying, “Life is hard and beautiful, and I can find peace even here.” Glimmers are about learning to live with the mess while still opening our hearts to joy.
Practical Ways to Embrace Glimmers This Fall
1. Make Space for Glimmers
- Put it on the calendar. Look, I know time is tight, but make a little space for what fills you up. Whether it’s a solo walk with the leaves crunching underfoot or cozy time together as a family, these moments are medicine.
- Create family traditions. Make apple pie, carve pumpkins, or just sit around a fire and talk. These shared moments are golden; they remind us of who we are and why we love each other. MAKE THE TIME for these; these are the glimmer memories all children reflect back on when they are hurt, lost, and vulnerable.
2. Gratitude for the Little Things
- Share what’s good. Around the dinner table or at bedtime, ask your kids to tell you one good thing from their day. It can be as small as a funny thing they saw or as big as a new friend they made.
- Keep it real. Gratitude doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Sometimes, it’s just appreciating that we got through another day. And that’s okay. It's all in the pause of the moment.
3. Practice Mindfulness—For the Whole Family
- Notice together. Go outside and challenge everyone to find something beautiful—a leaf, a cloud, a bird. Ask them to describe what they see, hear, and feel.
- Bring it into the everyday. Mindfulness can be sitting together with a warm drink and feeling the comfort it brings. These moments don’t have to be perfect; they just have to be real.
4. Start a Glimmer Journal
- Capture the small stuff. Get a journal where family members can write down, doodle, or describe a moment that brought them joy or peace. It could be as simple as “I liked the rain today.” This can be a Google doc or even a shared note on tech devices, as long as it is easy to get to.
- Look back on the good. On tough days, take a moment to flip through your glimmer journal and read through past thoughts. It’s a reminder that joy has been here and will come again.
5. Be Around People Who Get It
- Seek your people. Find friends or family who lift you up and let you be your full, messy, beautiful self. Surrounding your child with people who celebrate their uniqueness sends a powerful message: “You are enough just as you are.”
Find a community. Seek out neurodiversity-affirming spaces that celebrate each child’s strengths and quirks. This kind of support is invaluable, both for the kids and for us as parents. Find the person who "gets you," and connect when you can, even if infrequently.
Glimmers are Life’s Gentle Reminders
Life is hard. Parenting is hard. Supporting our kids through a world that doesn’t always understand them? Extra hard. But glimmers are here to remind us that there’s light even in the dark. These little moments help us build a life filled with meaning, connection, and joy.
So, this fall, let’s lean into the glimmers. Let’s teach our children that they can find beauty, even in the wildness of life. And let’s remind ourselves that we’re doing okay. We can savor a cup of tea, watch the leaves change, and feel grateful for these small, precious moments that say, “You’ve got this.”
Here’s to finding the glimmers, embracing the mess, and loving ourselves and our children through every imperfect moment.
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